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little prayers…

14 May

light streams in /
you / in my arms /
deep breaths / 
morning sun dances on your skin / 

you sleep / while my hands wrap around / 
legs entwined / 
my heart pounding / the only sound /
little prayers / that happiness you will find / 

truth will rise /
darkness will flee /

when my fingers touch your skin /
warm breath on your neck / 
can you feel my passion? /
deep calls to deep /
my soul / overflows /
you are my heart /
only love /
no matter where you’ve been /

written word & photography by Ephraim Beck
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at least…

21 Apr

 

at least i loved you / at least i cried /
at least i mourned / at least i tried /
at least i took the time /
at least i said goodbye /

written word & photography by Ephraim Beck
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good friday…

29 Mar

hey, you / staring down /
searching for redemption /
stop running /
no more hiding /
a song plays for you /
listen to the sound /
you are forgiven /

hey, you / prophet boy /
with eyes / deeper than space & time /
you are more than enough /
let go /
destiny / about to begin /
feet on the starting line /
breathe in the mystic joy /
you are forgiven /

hey, you / lost boy /
begging / falling / broken /
you believed those lies /
so you told even more / 
carried that shame /
despised / yourself /you hate / 
the wound is open / 
all the waves have crashed /
you are forgiven /

hey, you / longing for love /
gone / it flew away /
scraping / clawing / you drown /
let go / swallow the sky /
believe the prophecy /
listen to the sound /
it returns / from above / 
you are forgiven /

written word & photography by Ephraim Beck
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you made a nervous boy sit still…

23 Mar

i wrote you a song / 
it was, oh, so easy / you were my heart /
wrote you three, actually /
you never heard them / too soon, gone /

like a schoolboy / crushing so hard it hurts /
a glance sent me to the moon /
surviving on daydreams of forever /
a touch / your hand in mine / 
it’s not hard to remember /
do you remember? /

you made a nervous boy sit still /
stared into my eyes /
i stared right back /
down the rabbit hole that night /
nothing left to feel /
tell me you don’t miss that /

don’t you know / i was lost, too /
before we found each other /
after lifetimes apart /
i held you close / feet touched together /
don’t you know / it destroyed me, too /
just can’t seem to recover /
since we broke / our hearts /

prophet boy / i will hold you again /
sit still / stare in your eyes /
these eyes, only for you / are mine /

just us /
alone for a night /
tell me you don’t want that /

prophet boy / i will hold you again /
sing you these songs / hold you from behind /
listen to stories of where you’ve been /
tell me stories of where you’ve been /

written word & photography by Ephraim Beck
me eyes

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show a little heart…

20 Mar

the water is tainted /
so dig a well /
a deep, deep well / 
gotta get back to your own start /

down to the springs of life /
clear / a blank slate /
pop goes the culture / and the culture goes pop /
hypocrisy /
can’t digest anymore of the fake /
all he became was a typical bot /

curious /madness /
the pathway to art /
wish that boy would show a little heart /

you’re in a quarantine / don’t even know it /
you are fed your thoughts / taught your desires /
the sick give medicine to the well /
cool kids do it / other cool kids said it /
busy patting each other on the back / 
can you even start your own fires? /

keep it comfortable / nothing to confront / 
don’t you dare have a deep thought /
all the same / all so great /
smoke another blunt /
there’s nothing to rape / they’ve got nothing to take / 

going to parties doesn’t make you interesting /
“that album is so cool” / it’s not like you made it /
doesn’t it get old having that boy’s ass? /
all your friends already had it /

but you share the same lives /
wasted in this city /
same ideas, too / 
why not share the same bodies? /

kill your individuality / kill your art /
thought you were a prophet / thought you’d leave a mark /
wish that boy would show a little heart /

the water is tainted /
dig a well /
a deep, deep well /
gotta get back to your own start /

written word & photography by Ephraim Beck
writing

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leaving the haunting…

14 Mar

woke up /
where are the echoes? / i can’t hear you /
your voice / only in my mind /

fog lifted /
where have you gone? / i can’t see you /
your face is blurry / close my eyes /

open them again /
gone /
this house / empty /
powers vanquished / memories faded /

pain on repeat / no more /
the curse broken /
begged for you to own my soul / a possession /
thought your ghost was shiny and true /
but your  kind of  love was just an apparition /

believed you when you said you’d stay /
now the rust and decay is all that remains /
the loss of your spirit / stings /
look back one last time /
but this boy’s leaving the haunting /

written word & photography by Ephraim Beck
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a prophecy, fulfilled…

13 Mar

it was a prophecy /
fulfilled /
you didn’t stand a chance /
it wasn’t you / it was me /

so label me ‘damaged’ / throw me away /
scold, smirk and demand /
punish me / manipulate my pain /
use my body / on my skin, burn your brand /

pick me apart / find all my flaws /
laugh at my heart / mock all my tears /
a lashing for every bad deed /
you knew to reject me / my greatest fear /

but you can’t control the spirit / i am free /
you can’t break the broken / i am free /

my deepest fear realized / rejected and despised /
but i am not yours / i am LOVED /
faced it / felt it / looked your black magic in the eye / 

it was a prophecy /
fulfilled /
“the truth shall set you free” /

written word & photography by Ephraim Beck
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bloom…

12 Mar

torn /  threadbare / 
felt my petals sag / bend / snap /
what had been magical / color / alive /
ripped from my hands / falling slowly to die /

my tears dripped to the earth / 
wet the faded bloom / life to death /
from glory returned to dirt /
you were the warmth / the sun /
you gave / then took away / my life /

black clouds / behind your dark eyes /
sent cold / ice / 
your winds of anger lashed / battered /
left my bloom tired and tattered /

your long winter / 
vengeful / unforgiving / 
storms of freezing air /
stinging and bitter /

hope forgotten /

now a breeze / warm / merciful /
snow begins to thaw /
the tears under this dirt / stirring /
restless for new life /
hungry for a foolish love / i am raw / 

a light / it comes /
furious /
brighter than death / stronger than fear /
from beneath the frozen ground /
it pushes me out of my tears /

i gave you my heart / treasures held inside /
watch me / take it back /
give it to the future / give it to the sky /
i am reborn /
savage /
you can keep your wrath /

up / go / chase the light /
fresh air / taste what i  must become /
frigid malice and tired bitterness / 
you are banished /
rendered powerless /

i open / i open / i open! /
i open / i open / i open! /

written word & photography by Ephraim Beck
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bright eyes…

12 Mar

over there / him /
i saw a flash /
he smiles / back / a split second /
brilliance /
push against this sea of bodies / find him again /

the profile of his face / laughing with a girl /
cool jacket / tight pants /
he looks my way / forget to breathe /
bright eyes / 
a flash /

i’ve wandered in the desert / alone /
no moses to guide me /
hunted and haunted by dark eyes /
they followed me / angry / wished me unwell

no smoke by day  / no fire by night /
just a boy without a home /
it’s been so long / i forgot what it was like /

now you / bright eyes /
you bring a new law /
the darkness has finished its last dance /

like manna on the morning ground /
what’s under those tight pants? /
mystery / a new promised land /
bright eyes / flash /

hands shake / blood rush /
those lips / touch of scruff /
your eyes dance and play /
we may never meet again /
but tonight / you chased the dark away /
bright eyes / it was more than enough /

written word & photography by Ephraim Beck
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for just a boy…

10 Mar

i was just a boy /
stumbling / searching / for just a boy /

you saw my desperation / the begging in my eyes
still forced me on your pedestal /
got me high / told me lies /
of self-righteous pity, you are full /

you were just a boy /
stumbling / searching / for the perfect man /

i gave you the lock and key / sold my soul /
down on my knees /
offered an unconditional heart / te amo never-ending
but it wasn’t perfect / you wanted perfect /
you saw / i would never abandon you /
you abandoned me /

my love for you wasn’t silly / 
it was maddening / 
my love for you wasn’t foolish /
it was wild-eyed and free /

belittle the passion / minimize magic /
i refuse /
get me high / tell me lies /
bend me over /  i’ll play the fool / 
the joke’s on me /
while all my love pours out on you

my love for you wasn’t funny /
it was passion and strife /
i used to lie awake and watch you sleep /
wishing / hoping you’d love me the next night

you saw / i would never abandon you /
so you abandoned me /

you’re gone / but i will never leave /
never abandon / never give up /
you still have the lock and key /
just show up /

eternity may pass / age to age
i can’t stop / i won’t stop / 
desperate / with begging in my eyes
arms remain open / empty /
unashamed / 

stumbling / searching / for just a boy /
stumbling / searching / for just a boy /

written word & photography by Ephraim Beck
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i’ll clean it…

5 Mar

resurrection /
with one glance / 
your powers tore the veil / rolled away the stone /
a glimpse into new dimensions /
your lips dripped transcendence /

to know i have never known /
to blink / visions of sights unseen /
a wild frontier / passion and fury /
sweat and sex /
never even knew i was thirsty / 

now you take it away /
hungry / starving for just a drop /
you’re in my blood / changed my DNA /
put your magic in me / i’ll beg /
make me do the work /

spit in my mouth / let me taste it /
digging wells into dry earth /
looking for you and me / “stars forever”
put it in me / please / watch from behind /
i’ll do the work 

i’ll even clean it / 

would you give me life to leave me for dead?/
i’ll dig until i see your eyes / 
the world don’t know it yet /
boy, you’re a prophet /

go deep / spit on it / raw / 
our love was thick / it wasn’t easy /
it was just perfect /
please / let me clean it /

third eye now open / can’t go back /
i swallowed your magic/ 
born again / into my mouth / down my throat /
now i’m begging for a drop /

mysterious boy / 
resurrect me / with just one glance
push it in me /
please / i’ll clean it /

written word & photography by Ephraim Beck
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kill you

1 Mar

kill me /
the dance is still there / 4 feet / 2-step /
your breath on my skin / a hand on my waist /
moving as one /

kill me / 
your eyes are still there / dark / tortured /
little boy inside / peeks out from behind / time to time /
gazing in mine /

kill me /
sleepy time is still there / tangled sheets / bed head /
naked cuddles / heavy breathing / dreams /
never felt so safe / i love you / we said

kill me /
the sex is still there / perfect / perfect
just kill me / it was perfect

kill me /
anger is still there / tears / disappointed /
hurt you badly / hurt me back / 
the pain / rage / hate myself / a knife in my chest / 

kill me / 
the love is still there / distant / ever strong /
first morning thought / last evening dream /
sweet boy / complicated soul / you captured me /

please kill me /
the longing is still there / you own me / eternal /
breathing hurts / eyes wet / i miss you /
you will never leave me  / obsession / 
kill you / 
before you kill me /

written word & photography by Ephraim Beck
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